Mindful Moves: Trauma-Informed Insights

  When Stress Speaks Louder Than Words: Why We Struggle to Listen Under Pressure We’ve all had moments where someone’s speaking to us, maybe delivering important information, difficult feedback, or bad news, and yet we can’t seem to hear a single word properly. It’s not that we’re being dismissive or don’t care. It’s that our system has already gone into survival mode, and in that state, true listening isn’t just hard; it’s almost biologically impossible. Understanding why this happens is vital, not just for our own awareness but for how we lead, care, and connect with others, especially in high-stakes environments like health and social care. When we start to see this through a trauma-informed lens, the pieces begin to make a lot more sense. The Physiology of Not Listening Let’s start with the body. When we’re under stress, our nervous system responds automatically. The vagus nerve, the key player in our parasympathetic “rest and digest” system, goes offline, and our sympa...

When We Keep Going: The Strange, Brave Dance of Progress Have you ever noticed how life rarely moves in a neat, straight line? We’re taught that success is all about relentless forward motion, hustle harder, push through, and never give up. And yet, anyone who’s ever done anything hard knows that progress doesn’t always look like a single upward climb. Sometimes it feels like we’re wading through mud. Other times it’s two steps back, one step forward—or worse, we stand still for what feels like forever, holding our breath in the middle of the unknown. So what is it that makes us keep showing up, even when every part of us wants to quit? The Fuel Beneath the Frustration If you ask people what keeps them going, the answers are as messy and varied as we are. For some, it’s love—for a child, a partner, or a dream version of themselves they’re not ready to give up on. For others, it’s sheer stubbornness, the refusal to let life win without a fight. Sometimes it’s hope in disguis...

    When Love Hurts the Nervous System: Narcissistic Abuse Through a Trauma-Informed Lens For World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day – June 1st We often hear that love is patient, kind, and safe. But for many, love has also been confusing, consuming, and deeply unsafe. On World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day , we pause to honour those whose lives have been silently shaped by the invisible bruises of emotional manipulation and chronic control. This kind of abuse doesn't always leave visible scars. But it leaves deep, neurological imprints , especially on the nervous system. What Is Narcissistic Abuse? Narcissistic abuse isn’t simply about being with someone who’s self-absorbed or vain. It's a form of emotional and psychological abuse inflicted by someone exhibiting narcissistic personality traits or full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). At its core, narcissistic abuse is about control, exploitation, and eroding your sense of self , often so subtly that you begi...

Why People with Complex PTSD Often Sleep a Lot (And Why That’s Not Laziness) You might have heard it or said it yourself. "I’m just tired all the time." "Even after 10 hours, I still wake up exhausted." "Sometimes I feel like all I do is sleep—and I still can't catch up." For many people living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), this is more than occasional burnout. It’s a pattern. A fog. A cycle that doesn’t seem to make sense from the outside, but makes perfect sense once you understand what CPTSD does to the body and brain. So, why do people with CPTSD sleep a lot? And why is it not laziness, weakness, or avoidance? Let’s break it down. 1. The Body Is Always Bracing for Impact When you live through repeated trauma, especially in childhood or over a prolonged period, your nervous system adapts to survive. Hypervigilance, muscle tension, and an always-on stress response become your “normal”. Even at rest, your body...

  Unspoken Agreements: The Power of Psychological Contracts in Organisational Change When organisations shift, be it through restructuring, role changes, or cultural transformation, the focus is often on the visible: job titles, processes, and policies. But beneath all that, something more subtle but just as critical is taking shape (or falling apart): the psychological contract . It’s not written down. You won’t find it in your induction pack. But it’s there, shaping how we show up, how safe we feel, and how we relate to those we work with. As someone who has led and worked alongside frontline staff, carers, nurses, and managers for over three decades, I’ve learnt this: when psychological contracts are not acknowledged and nurtured, working relationships can quietly unravel—and during change, the damage compounds. Let’s explore this through a trauma-informed lens. What is a Psychological Contract? Simply put, a psychological contract is the unspoken agreement between p...

  When They Walk In Like They Know Better: Surviving the Subtle Sabotage of a Workplace Takeover There’s a particular kind of silence that falls in a room when someone dismisses your years of work with a single raised eyebrow or a casual, “Well, this is how we did it at XXXXX.” It’s not the booming kind of conflict that ends in slammed doors or raised voices. No, it’s quieter than that. It lives in the comments like: “Oh, that’s interesting, but we usually do it this way.” “How did this even work before?” “It’s going to take a while for everyone to catch up to the new standards.” These phrases slip in under the radar, just enough to plant doubt, but not enough to raise a formal grievance. You start to second-guess yourself. Was that personal? Are they actually saying I’m not good enough? Or am I just tired? If you’ve ever experienced a company takeover, where you go from being a respected team member to a reluctant spectator of a corporate invasion, you know how deeply this can...

   The Power of Heart Energy: The Influence You Might Not See, But Others Can Feel You’ve probably heard someone say, “That person gives off a certain vibe.” It’s more than just a saying; it’s something we feel deeply and instinctively. But have you ever paused to think about how far your own energy reaches? Studies show that the electromagnetic field generated by the human heart can extend several feet beyond the body. That means the emotional state you're carrying – whether it's peaceful, tense, open, or shut down – can quietly shape the space around you. In my life as a nurse, a carer, a veteran, and the spouse of a veteran living with PTSD, I’ve learnt firsthand that our presence – what we carry in our hearts – has real weight. It can either calm a room or unsettle it. The way we show up – how we breathe, listen, and regulate ourselves – has a ripple effect. And when you’ve lived through trauma, this becomes even more important. Our energy can become a source of comf...