SACRED SELF-LEADERSHIP WHEN TIMES ARE REALLY TOUGH

There are moments in life when the bottom seems to fall out from under you. You’re not sure if you’re standing or floating, falling or frozen. You blink back tears in meetings, feel your chest tighten when the phone rings, are reluctant to open the next email, and dread the silence that greets you when the day finally slows down.

These are the moments no one trains us for.

These are the sacred thresholds of self-leadership.

Sacred Doesn’t Mean Polished

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing glamorous about leading yourself when your world feels like it’s crumbling. Sacred doesn’t mean tidy. It doesn’t mean Zen candles, perfect morning routines, or curated affirmations.

Sacred self-leadership is raw. It’s you, slumped in the car after a shift, screaming into a towel, or staring at the ceiling at 2am, wondering how you’ll face another day.

And yet… something stirs in those moments. Not a fix. Not a solution. But a flicker of something that still lives inside you. Something ancient. Wise. Tender.

That flicker? That’s where sacred self-leadership begins.

When Chaos Knocks, You Don't Have to Answer Like a Hero

I used to think being strong meant carrying everything, fixing everything, staying silent, pushing through. That’s what we’re taught, isn’t it? Especially if you’re a carer, a nurse, a frontline leader, a parent, or a partner to someone who’s struggling. You become everyone else’s anchor, even when your own ship is sinking.

But sacred self-leadership invites a different response.

It whispers: Pause. Breathe. You’re allowed to fall apart, too.

This isn’t a weakness. This is wisdom. It’s knowing that your nervous system, your heart, your soul, they’re not machines. They’re living, pulsing, sensing parts of you that deserve care. Deserve presence. Deserve space.

So when times are really tough, sacred self-leadership might look like:

  • Saying no even when it feels easier to say yes
  • Resting even when your to-do list screams otherwise
  • Speaking your truth, even if your voice shakes
  • Admitting you’re not okay, out loud, to someone safe
  • Letting yourself be held, not just holding others

It’s Not About Control, It’s About Devotion

Self-leadership isn’t about controlling every outcome. In fact, during the darkest seasons, control is often the first thing we lose.

But what we can choose, what becomes sacred, is our devotion to ourselves.

A devotion to showing up, one moment at a time.
A devotion to staying curious, even in the pain.
A devotion to tending your body, your breath, and your needs, like a sacred fire that must not go out.

I remember sitting in my car recently after a difficult day. I’d just come from a family meeting where a daughter had screamed at me for something that wasn’t my fault. I hadn’t eaten all day. My phone was buzzing with requests. I felt hollow. Used up. Done.

I turned off the engine. Closed my eyes.

And I did something I hadn’t done in years.

I placed my hand on my chest and whispered, 'I’m here. I see you. You're not alone.'

That moment didn’t fix everything.

But it was a turning point.

Sacred Self-Leadership Is a Daily Practice (Especially in the Mess)

This kind of leadership isn’t a one-time act. It’s a return. Over and over.

To your breath.
To your body.
To your truth.
To the small choices that honour your humanity.

Some days, sacred self-leadership might look like walking away from something that’s been draining your soul. Other days, it might be getting out of bed and brushing your teeth.

It’s not performative. It’s not a checklist. It’s a sacred relationship with yourself. Built in the moments when no one is watching.

You Can Lead and Still Be Lost

Here’s the secret most don’t tell you:

You can feel lost and still be leading yourself.

You can feel unsure, scared, and exhausted and still take one sacred step forward.

Leadership is not having certainty. Sacred leadership is presence.

It’s showing up again and again, not because you have it all figured out, but because something inside you still dares to care. Still dares to hope. Still dares to soften, even when it hurts.

The Future You Is Watching

I often think about her, the future version of me. The one who’s healed a little more. Who laughs more freely. Who no longer carries so many things that weren’t hers to hold.

She’s watching me now.

Not judging. Just witnessing.

And I want her to know I didn’t abandon myself in the hard parts.

That I didn’t numb or disappear.

That I learnt to stay with myself, even when it would’ve been easier to run.

That I led myself, imperfectly, gently, sacredly, through the fire.

So, if you’re reading this and things feel hard right now, know this:

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming.

And the way you lead yourself today, in this messy, human moment, it matters more than you know.

This is sacred work.

And you are doing it.

One breath, one boundary, one brave choice at a time.

Final Whisper

You don’t need to wait until it all calms down to lead yourself.

You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.

Sacred self-leadership starts right here, in the chaos, in the fatigue, in the ache.

It starts with remembering: You are worth staying with.

You always have been.

You always will be.

 Love always, Caron 💜

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